Why Marry a God?
I no longer remember who asked me these questions or why, but here are my answers!
Why did you choose to marry a God?
The simplest answer: He asked me, and I--having fallen madly and passionately in love with Him--said yes. Although it was a BIG decision that ended up completely changing my life, at the time I didn't really even see it as a decision--or not one that required a lot of deliberation on my part, anyway. Once He had asked me, there was in my mind no other answer but yes; the rest of it was only a matter of working out the details. It was so completely what I wanted and needed, and something I would never have dared to ask Him for myself.
How did you know it was the right decision?
In many ways, my decision was an impulsive one, and our marriage was more like an elopement than a carefully orchestrated event (from my viewpoint, at least; His, as I understand it, was entirely different). But it had an utter feeling of rightness, of being the one thing that I had been craving my entire life. And in fact that's exactly what it was. :) As time went on, I began to see earlier events in my life in a new light, and understand how so many of them had led to this and helped to prepare me for it. Although I had thought when I married Him that this was a fairly new relationship, Odin had in fact been around and trying to get my attention in various ways throughout my entire life, and I had already known Him (and even pledged myself to Him) years before in various guises. I have even begun to have fragments of memories of other lives in which I had similar relationships with Him.
How has it helped you?
In so very many ways. The ordeals my decision led to (including the breakup of a long-term but emotionally abusive relationship and a drastic change in finances and living situation) have made me stronger, more independent, and more emotionally resilient that I had ever been before or thought I could be. His love has given me a confidence and surety of purpose I had never thought I would have, and that spills over into every aspect of my life and everything I do. And of course, I have gained a deeper insight and access into all of His mysteries. Not that I'm by any means an expert in everything that falls under His dominion (in many of them, I am barely a beginner), but He has made it clear that ALL of His paths are open to me, and that He will walk them with me.
How has it helped the wider religious community you're in?
That depends on what you mean by “wider religious community.” Within my own tiny kindred, it's been an indispensable advantage because my bond with Him enables me to horse Him and/or convey His words pretty much on demand, without the need for any fanfare or preparation. Within the "woo" community, Heathen and otherwise, the relationship has enabled me to provide counseling and advice to various people who have had experiences with Odin or relationships of their own with Him and with other Gods who are close to Him. As far as the mainstream Heathen community is concerned, I can't really say it's been an advantage (more of a dividing factor, actually), but hopefully in time the things I am learning from Him will either enable me to perform a valuable role within that community, or widen the range of people I'm able to help within my smaller woo-oriented community.
And what sorts of things have you and your God-husband asked of each other?
Many things, most of which I'm not willing to reveal here. :) Like any good marriage, it has only a few rules that are carved in stone (on both our parts) and a lot of room for growth. One of the things He wanted and that I have agreed to is marital faithfulness. Actually, like the marriage itself this didn't require a lot of deliberation on my part, nor did it seem like much of a sacrifice; once He was in my life, I simply didn't want anyone else, and still don't. I asked several things of Him in return, all of which He agreed to (to my utter astonishment). Some of those things I won't talk about, but one is that He swore never to leave me—not even for a brief period of time. Not ever, for any reason. I have abandonment issues, so for me that was a very big deal. :)
Why marriage instead of some other lifetime dedication?
Because for both of us, this is what was meant to be. It came as something as a surprise to me at first that He had His own needs in regard to our relationship, in addition to what I wanted and needed. This is what we both needed. It is the fulfillment of a long path encompassing several lifetimes for me, and for Him it is something that He has waited for and planned, for a long time. (Which is a bit of a scary thought, even to me, but that's how He has explained it to me.)
- Gunnlod-Hjarta
(c) 2007
wodandis@gmail.com